On November 22, 1963, I was attending first grade in St.
Mary Magdalen School, a fairly new parish school serving Catholic families in the first ring of postwar suburban
migration out of Eastern cities. The
parish at that time didn't have a stand-alone church; rather, the school and
church shared the same 2 story brick building; the church occupied half the
first floor, and about 14 classrooms filled the rest. But even though the building was just a few
years old, the baby boom had swelled enrollment past the number that could fit
in that building, and so my first grade class of 41 six-year olds was lodged in
a portion of the basement of the adjacent convent where the Benedictine nuns
who taught in the school lived. The underground location was touted as an
advantage when we practiced atomic bomb drills. The classroom was so makeshift
that the desk of our teacher, Sister Jean d'Arc, was at the foot of the stairs
that led to the ground floor of the convent.
Even for a nun in those days of Latin mass and Baltimore
catechism (both of which I remember), keeping order among 41 six-year-olds was
a challenge, so some of the mothers -- including mine -- pitched in to settle
students in at the start of the day and help out at lunchtime.
Sometime after lunch that afternoon, the nuns' housekeeper
rushed halfway down the stairs to our classroom, and told Sister Jean d'Arc --
loud enough that the whole class could hear it -- that President Kennedy had
been shot in Dallas. Fifty years on, I still remember seeing her crouching down
on those stairs delivering the news. Sister
Jean d'Arc was completely stunned. She
and the housekeeper must have decided that the news had to be conveyed to the
rest of the school community in the main building, but neither of them thought
to pick up the phone and dial the principal's office. I
suppose that can be attributed to the shock of the moment, especially since it
was a Catholic school and JFK was, of course, the first Catholic
President, and thus revered in so many Catholic communities. They decided that, while the
housekeeper would go back to monitoring the news, Sister would keep order in
the class of 41 six-year-olds, many of whom were picking up on the adults'
reactions and were themselves becoming agitated, and she would dispatch one of
the first-graders to go over to the main building and deliver the
news.
I stood out a little from the 40
others in that class. I had begun reading
around the age of 3 and entered first grade reading at a fourth-grade level.
I was very interested in current events: my parents would say that, when
I was three years old, I was asked by a relative what my favorite TV show was, and I answered
guilelessly, "The CBS Evening News with Howard K. Smith." (I suspect that only happened once because it
probably elicited a good laugh which would have puzzled me and caused me not to repeat that answer.)
I was also an extremely quiet and obedient
boy. My mother had told me to obey nuns and never to talk in school, and I
obeyed her to the letter, to the point where I thought it was wrong even to
talk during recess, and thus I didn't, making recess very boring for a few
weeks until someone brought this to my mother's attention and she clarified her
instructions, and I became a little more socially normal.
With
this resume, however, I was, in Sister Jean d'Arc's mind at that moment, the perfect
candidate to bear the news that the President had been shot to the rest of the
school. I don't recall the details of my
conversation with her, but in a few minutes, I was walking across the parking
lot, which doubled as our playground, to the back door of the school. I remember that moment vividly because it was
the first time I had ever been on the school grounds when they weren't bustling
for recess, morning drop-off or afternoon pick-up. The contrast to what I had always experienced
out there made a lasting impression on me. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. The sky, I still see in my mind's eye, was
clear and blue.
I entered the main school by the
back door and to my right, behind a makeshift accordion partition that looked,
from my six-year old vantage point, to be about 12 feet tall, was the other
first-grade class, presided over by Sister Trinitas. I knocked on the partition and she came over,
slid it back enough to stick her head out, and I told her what I had been asked
to relay: "Sister Trinitas, Sister Jean d'Arc told me to come over and tell you it
was announced on the radio that President Kennedy has been shot in Dallas, and
we should pray for him." I don't
remember her reaction in detail except that she was gracious and thanked me. Then I went across the hall to the second grade classroom where my cousin Jean Marie was assigned,
and told the same thing to her teacher Sister Anthony.
Then I went upstairs to the rest of
the classrooms, which were united by a single long hall that ran east to
west. I started at the east end because that was where
the stairs let me out. I did not know the
teachers in those rooms by name, but they had little signs outside of the room
with the room number and the teacher's name on them, so I read the teacher's
name, knocked on the door, and when she came to the door and opened it, I
repeated my message: "Sister ____, Sister Jean d'Arc told me to come over
and tell you that it was announced on the radio that President Kennedy has been
shot in Dallas, and we should pray for him." Their
reactions were, uniformly, one of shock.
Then they would say something to me, close the door and I would go on to
the next classroom and repeat the message to another shocked teacher. But I had watched the evening news often
enough that I knew the men who reported bad news did so calmly without betraying much emotion and, as best I
remember, that is how I conducted myself.
By the time I reached the upper
grades at the west end of the hall, someone had already reached them with the
message. I learned this when the teacher
in one of those grades opened the door at my knock and snapped at me when I
began to deliver the news, "Yes, we already know and we are praying for
him! Go back to your classroom!." Being
trained to obey the nuns, I did what she said.
As I walked back to the convent basement, the sky was still clear and
blue and the playground was still quiet and calm. I went back to my classroom and waited with
my classmates for my mother to come and pick me up and take me home.
Like every other family in America
that had a television set then, my family spent the next four days glued to it,
watching people file past his casket as he lay in state, until on the fourth
day he was buried. It was a memorable
event, obviously, for all Americans, but devout Catholics like my family felt a
particular grief in the loss of a man with whom they identified through their
religion. I still remember coming in to the room where our TV set was,
late in the afternoon over the weekend, when light had all disappeared outside,
and the (black-and-white) TV was the only light in the room. No one could move away, even to turn on the
lights in the room as it grew dark.
Throughout my life, I have been regarded
as someone who does not get perturbed in times of stress (which thankfully have
been few and far between). I wonder
sometimes if that state of mind has its roots in that day, when I was
called on to deliver the news just like those very serious men on the evening news I watched on
television.
But, years later, in 1988, when the 25th
anniversary of the assassination was being commemorated, I watched a
documentary about it, at night in my basement.
Near the end, they were showing a clip from one of the home movies taken
of the motorcade that afternoon in Dallas. JFK was looking right at the camera, smiling
and waving as the limousine passed by, looking so relaxed and fully enjoying
the moment, and you know as you see him smiling and waving that he had less
than a minute left to live and no idea of the fate that awaited him, and his
family, and his country, when the limousine would take that excruciatingly slow
hairpin turn at the Texas School Book Depository, and he was smiling and waving in slow motion, and I could only
think about how much life disappeared in that next minute, and I cried.
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